Tall Guy Racing - FAQ (About Being Tall)

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These are examples of (mostly stupid) questions and comments I get about being tall and a few questions I wish people would ask me (the politeness ones).

Gee, you're tall.

Thank you for pointing that out. I like to be reminded I'm tall over and over and over and over and over and over and over...

Is it polite to point out that someone is tall?

No. It is not polite to point out that a woman has large breasts and it is not polite to point out that a man is overweight. Sadly, many people don't seem to realise this. Pointing out that someone is tall is no different.

How tall are you?

I don't actually know. You care how tall I am - I don't.

Is it polite to ask a tall person how tall they are?

No. It is not polite to ask a large breasted woman what bra size she is and it is not polite to ask an overweight man how much he weighs. Being tall is no different.

Are you six foot [whatever]?

I don't actually know. You care how tall I am - I don't.

Is it polite to play the height guessing game?

No. It is not polite to try and guess a large breasted woman's bra size and it is not polite to try and guess the weight of an overweight man. Being tall is no different.

What's it like being tall?

How the hell should I know? I have never been short so I have nothing to compare it to. What's it like to have two arms rather than three?

What's the weather like up there?

(While urinating on the questioner's face) It's raining.

I have/had a brother/son/nephew who is/was nearly as tall as you...

I supremely don't care.

Do you play basketball?

No.

You would just have to reach up and put the ball in.

No. I am not tall enough to simply reach up and put the ball in (no one is).

But...

No damn it! Being tall does not automatically make you a brilliant basketball player. Nor does being tall automatically mean that you even want to play basketball. Or rugby. Get it? Now go away.

What sport are you interested in?

Take a look around this website and have a think.

So how many contracts have you been offered?

What?

You know, how many rugby contacts have you been offered because you are so tall?

I have not been offered any rugby contracts based on my height. [Yes, a complete stranger actually asked me this. He then proceeded to give me a free assessment of my body type (thanks) and then some free advice about my 'ideal' training programme (wow, aren't I lucky).]

Do you have tall parents?

Yes.

Do you have to duck for doorways?

For most doorways, yes.

Is it annoying having to duck for doorways?

Not as annoying as not ducking for doorways.

(After I have hit my head on a doorway) Ha ha.

(After picking person up by the legs and smashing their head into the doorway) Ha ha.

Do you drive big cars because you are tall?

No. I drive big cars because I like big cars.

But surely you must fit in big cars better? Aren't they more comfortable?

Not necessarily. The overall size of the car bares little resemblance to how well I fit in and comfortable it is to drive. When I drive a car my knees are up beside the steering column. I have never driven any vehicle with my knees under the steering wheel. This probably looks funny to you, but it is simply how I drive and is quite normal to me. So, the determining factor in how well I fit car is how much space there is between the right of the steering wheel and the door. This is a favourite place for car manufactures to put power window controls. In fact, at one stage I very much wanted to own a XF Fairmont (not sure why now) but the power window controls stuck out and pinned my knee against the steering wheel, making it impossible to turn. I have driven many small cars without this problem and been very comfortable in them.

You could get a Mini, take out the front seat and sit in the back seat.

No, that would not work (idiot).

You must need/have a tall girl friend.

They're all the same [sexist comment censored - you'll have ask this one in person].

Are you a freak?

Yes, but not because I'm tall.